


Reaching for the moon

by Biket



Series: TsukkiYama Week 2020 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Demiromantic Yamaguchi Tadashi, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, TsukkiYama Week 2020, Tsukkiyama Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:13:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26072473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biket/pseuds/Biket
Summary: The girl had approached him during their lunch break and Yamaguchi didn’t know what to do. What was he supposed to say? ‘Sorry I’m kinda pining over my best friend and even if I won’t tell him, I can’t just date someone else to move on, that wouldn’t be fair to them’. That might be a little too detailed. Sometimes he wished he wouldn’t be so caring. If he wasn’t like that, life would be much simpler.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: TsukkiYama Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1892755
Kudos: 109
Collections: TsukkiYama Week 2020





	Reaching for the moon

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, it's TsukkiYama week!  
> Day 1 - Fake Relationship
> 
> I had fun writing this one and I'm kinda proud of it, I hope you'll enjoy it!

The girl had approached him during their lunch break and Yamaguchi didn’t know what to do. In fact, he's been trying to avoid her since he had noticed the few nervous glances she was shooting his way for two weeks now. The same glimpses he would often catch being cast to his best friend, the same glances he grew to hate when directed at Tsukishima. See, he never had to deal with that for himself, not since middle school at least and he still didn't have a clue on how to act about it. He wasn’t like Tsukki, he couldn’t just hide behind a mask made of ice and pretend he didn’t care, that wasn’t like him at all. He did care. He actually quite admired the courage of those girls, the courage he only had when he was on the court, serving with all his determination. Facing love confessions was something else, something he just simply couldn’t do. 

What was he supposed to say? ‘Sorry I’m kinda pining over my best friend and even if I won’t tell him, I can’t just date someone else to move on, that wouldn’t be fair to them’. That might be a little too detailed. Besides, as full of good intentions that statement was, it would just hurt the girl. And he certainly wasn’t going to make her cry. Seeing people cry had always made him want to shed some tears himself and if he could avoid it, he would do so. But he still hadn’t solved his problem. If he ran fast enough, he could flee right to the bathrooms where Tsukki was. Then he would tell him what had happened, his best friend would snicker and they would go on with their day. Except the girl would be hurt and, again, he didn’t want to hurt her. Sometimes he wished he wouldn’t be so caring. If he wasn’t like that, life would be much simpler. 

And yet, here he was. Facing a girl whose name he didn’t even know while trying to find a way to escape because his heart couldn’t take this. He wished Tsukki would finally appear out of nowhere because what was taking him so long after all? Yamaguchi almost sighed. Instead, he made an effort to pay attention to what she was trying to say even if he knew where this was going. She was cute, really. He was sure any of the other guys in their class would like her and yet, she had chosen him even though they didn’t know each other. He might have talked to her once or twice about homework or something but nothing he could remember very well. Briefly, he made eye contact but she looked away almost immediately. She sighed and he could see she was nervous - of course she was, who wouldn’t be?

“I just wanted to say that I like you.” Oh, okay, she was going straight for it. He could deal with that. _No, he couldn’t._ Is this where Tsukki would have said ‘I don’t’? Probably. But Yamaguchi wasn’t like that and all he could do was stare at the girl. She was looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer he couldn’t work out. “Would you like to go for a coffee or something after school?” she added after a moment. She was straightforward and honestly, he was glad she didn’t seem as anxious as him otherwise he would have just been drowning in their shared nervousness. His own was already too much for him to handle. 

“I uh… I’m sorry but…” _I don’t like you, not like that._ The words couldn’t form on his tongue, staying at the back of his throat, never said. He couldn’t say that to her. How did people deal with love confessions? As Yamaguchi saw her face changing into a pained expression, he panicked. “I already have someone,” he blurted out without thinking. He cursed himself. How could he say that? It wasn’t any better than a generic ‘I don’t like you back’. Wasn’t it even worse? He didn’t know. He sure would hate it if someone he liked - _Tsukki_ , told him they already were with somebody else. But it was different. His feelings for the tall middle blocker weren’t new, they had grown over the years and he had had time to accept them and accept they probably wouldn’t be returned. The girl in front of him didn’t know him. She didn’t know if they had anything in common or if they shared the same interests. She probably didn’t even know he was part of the volleyball team. 

Yamaguchi knew the point of going out with someone was to try something new and learn a lot of things about someone but he just didn’t understand how it could work like that. He needed to know the person first, to have a close bond with them. He couldn’t just ask them to go out with him, to _date_ him if he didn’t even know what they liked, what they did for fun, what they were like when they were upset and all that. Yamaguchi simply couldn’t imagine going on a date with a perfect stranger or someone he wasn’t friend with in the first place. How could people develop feelings for others completely out of the blue? That was surreal for him.

“Oh. Is it… Is it the blond one?” she asked, cutting short his thoughts. His head perked up and he frowned. The blonde one? Was she talking about Yachi? Well, it was true they were spending a lot of time together since they were in the same club and it was the first year as an only manager for Yachi so she needed a bit of help and reassurance but still, what could indicate they were dating? Maybe it was just another thing he didn’t understand, maybe people thought he couldn’t be friend with a girl without being interested in her. He almost sighed. _Almost._ But then, Yamaguchi had an idea. He had to answer her, to confirm this. And he knew Yachi wouldn’t mind if he lied and said yes, she’d probably be okay with that and if she wasn’t, he would treat her to her favorite place, they would laugh and have a good time - as _friends_ , and she would forgive him. 

“Yeah,” he said, doing his best to show some kind of embarrassment. After all, he did feel guilty for rejecting her. Judging by the look on her face as she nodded slowly, she was hurt despite his efforts but it was inevitable. He really wished he could have been even nicer about it but he couldn’t think of anything else at the moment. The girl sighed but didn’t say anything. She gave him a small, sad, smile. At least she seemed to be holding up pretty good with the rejection, Yamaguchi was glad.

“Oh, there he is. I’m sorry. I’ll uh… I’ll leave,” she then said, almost looking panicked. 

Yamaguchi frowned once again. He? What did she mean ‘he’? Before he could ask her what she meant by that, she ran away and he felt a sudden presence behind him. 

“Sorry for taking so long.”

The freckled boy turned around, letting out a squeak of surprise. He relaxed a second later upon recognizing his best friend. And then he tensed again, realizing what the girl from earlier meant. She wasn’t talking about Yachi. She was talking about _Tsukishima_. And he said yes! He told her he was in a _relationship_ with _Tsukki_. Could he die from embarrassment? Was it a thing? Oh god, how could he be so stupid? And it wasn’t like he could run after her to correct her! Now that he thought about it, of course she’d been talking about Tsukki. He was indeed spending a lot of time with Yachi but they weren’t alone when they did so. The only person he was always alone with, every day, was Tsukishima. Of course she’d been talking about him. 

“Are you okay?” Tsukishima asked, raising an eyebrow at him. His face must have betrayed some kind of distress because his best friend was eyeing him with some sort of worry. 

“Uh…” Yamaguchi let out. He should have said yes and smile but he just couldn’t, the panic was striking him as well as embarrassment. And now that he had given his best friend a less than clear answer, he’ll have to explain it further. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. “There was a girl. She said she wanted to go out after school.”

“Did you say yes?” If Yamaguchi had been paying close attention, maybe he would have noticed the slight tension in Tsukishima’s voice.

“No.” He met his gaze, smiling sheepishly. “I said I already had someone.” Yamaguchi looked away again, still panicking over the fact that the girl thought he was dating his best friend and he didn’t even consider this option. Of course he would be more than happy to date him, he would be over the moon! But it wasn’t the case and he never expected people to assume it was. It felt kind of weird but all Yamaguchi could think about was the feeling of warmth in his chest at the thought. 

“Oh.” Sometimes, Yamaguchi wished Tsukki would be more expressive, at least with him. He couldn’t read him at the moment and it was troubling. He was used to knowing how the other boy felt when others didn’t have a clue but right now? He was as confused as anyone would be and it wasn’t a feeling he liked. He wanted to get a reaction out of him, to see if he actually cared or not. Maybe the unpleasant experience of rejecting someone’s feelings could help him decipher whether or not Tsukki would eventually be interested in him in any way. Right now, he wasn’t so sure about that.

“And I kinda said it was you?” Yamaguchi was already regretting being so honest about it but at this point, there was no going back anymore. “Well, I didn’t know it was you! She talked about a ‘blonde one’ so I assumed she was talking about Yachi and I knew she wouldn’t mind if I said yes but then you came back and she said ‘there he is’. She was talking about you and I didn’t understand, I’m sorry, I’m such an idiot!”

In front of him, Tsukki snickered. Yamaguchi pouted and poked him in the ribs. “Don’t you dare laugh at my misery, Tsukki!”

That only made him laugh a little harder and Yamaguchi couldn’t help but smile at the sight. His ever so stoic best friend was laughing in the middle of the corridor where everyone could see him. Usually, he wouldn’t let his guard down until they were alone. 

“Aren’t you bothered by it?” Yamaguchi finally asked. 

Tsukishima took a minute to respond, his brows furrowed in a thoughtful expression. “No, not really. I mean, you didn’t even know she was talking about me, so…” He shrugged.

Yamaguchi sighed. Well, at least he didn’t seem repulsed by the idea of dating him even if it was a misunderstanding, so that was good. 

“And I don’t mind being your fake boyfriend when things like that happen.” The freckled boy almost choked on his own saliva as he heard that. _Excuse me, what?_

“You… don’t mind?” he asked, disbelief written all over his face.

“No.” 

Tsukishima offered him a small smile. If he hadn’t been looking, Yamaguchi would have missed it. He chuckled, caught off guard. And then he couldn’t help the laugh that came out of his mouth. He had been so worried about what his friend would think of it all for it to be okay in the end. 

“Shut up Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima said, his voice betraying his amusement.

“Sorry Tsukki!” he said playfully, his tongue peeking out.

* * *

The rest of the day had been going nicely, save for the thoughts that had been racing Yamaguchi’s mind all afternoon. The girl in their class didn’t pay them much attention when they returned after lunch except maybe for one or two glances cast their way but nothing more. Yet, Yamaguchi couldn’t help but think of what it would be like if he really was dating Tsukki. And he knew it wasn’t healthy thinking, that he couldn’t do anything but hurt his own feelings thinking about it but he just couldn’t help it. It was like the girl’s words had open a new path for the feelings he stubbornly kept hidden all this time and even if he was kind of happy about it, it still was embarrassing to be pining over his best friend.

And now that they were alone, walking back home together as they always did, Yamaguchi’s mind was doing it all again. Usually, he would talk the entire way back home while Tsukki would listen to everything he said, sometimes adding his own comments and thoughts but right now, they were walking in unusual silence. The freckled boy didn’t even notice Tsukishima side-eyeing him with worry as he kept looking down, frowning. 

He liked him. That was a fact. He knew it, accepted it a long time ago, and moved on with his life, perfectly content being Tsukishima’s best friend. He didn’t expect anything else, hadn’t see Tsukki showing any interest in dating anyone, and didn’t even know if he liked boys. He had always been the only person standing next to him at all times, they had always been there for each other, for every up and every down, they were a package deal. There wasn’t a moment one wasn’t with the other, except maybe when they were practicing and even now, they were almost always together to sharpen their serve and block combo again and again. Yamaguchi was always with Tsukishima and had always felt comfortable with him, _at home._ It felt only natural for him to develop feelings for the middle blocker, he could see himself asking him to go on a date if he had the courage to do so. He could imagine it whereas he couldn’t even think about it with strangers, with the girl from earlier this morning and it had to mean something. It had to...

“What’s wrong?”

Yamaguchi looked up, surprised. His eyes met Tsukki’s worried ones and he cursed himself. Of course he would notice something was wrong. Tsukishima cared about him and was the observant kind, he knew it but he still stupidly thought he could hide things from him. Sometimes, he really was an idiot. But now wasn’t the time for being stupid, actual serious questions kept living rent-free in his head and he decided it was time to ask them. Even if it meant getting hurt and being rejected. _A taste of my own medicine, what an irony._

“What if I wanted it to be real?” he finally blurted out. He almost looked away, almost. But now that he had said the words, he needed this dose of courage to last for a few minutes, just the time it would take for Tsukishima to respond. 

His friend stopped beside him and frowned as he turned to face him. Yamaguchi let out a little noise of embarrassment. Okay, maybe what he said wasn’t that clear. 

“The fake boyfriend thing. What if I wanted it to be real?” he asked carefully. He couldn’t help but look everywhere but at Tsukki this time, nervousness taking control of his entire body. He could feel his legs begin to shake a little and sweat forming in his back, just like back then when he would serve as a pinch server for the first time. Except this time he didn’t have a team a few meters away to give him courage, he was all alone under the gaze of the best friend he wanted almost desperately to call ‘boyfriend’. 

Instead of responding - thus increasing tremendously Yamaguchi’s uneasiness, Tsukishima only smiled. A small smile, really. But a happy smile nonetheless. And then, he began to walk again without saying anything. 

_Well, that hurt._

Yamaguchi was ready to apologize as the tears were forming in his eyes, threatening to fall at any time. But as soon as he thought he couldn’t become a crying mess, not in front of Tsukki, he felt a hand brushing against his. His eyes widened as he looked up at Tsukishima. The blond boy was still smiling as he laced his fingers with Yamaguchi’s. Was the warmth coming from their hands joined together or was it simply his heart exploding in his chest? Yamaguchi didn’t know. 

“Then I would say yes,” Tsukishima whispered, his smile never fading as Yamaguchi giggled happily, his tears already long forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you've liked it!


End file.
